Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Sometimes You Just Need To Water The Grass

I woke up this morning to a news segment about how thousands of American's are upset about the re-election of President Obama. Normally I do not like to give energy to these types of issues and just have compassion and allow them to play out but this inspired me to share my views on people who think the grass is greener on the other side.
My personal theory is that the grass is not always greener on the other side sometimes you just need to water and cut your lawn in order for it to be the shade you like. Basically when you think the going is tough and you look for an escape all you are doing is trading one issue for another. Your problem will not go away. You will have to care for the grass no  matter where you go so if something isn't working at home take the time to fix it before trying to escape it.
I know it is easier said than done. Whatever your own personal issue is you just want to get away from it and move on but think about it this way if something has not gone away than you haven't done something you needed to do. Things do not just stick around they are there for a reason. For example let's say you are in an abusive relationship and your partner feels the need to take their anger out on you. Instead of standing up for yourself you deal with it. You may even have unconscious thoughts of feeling like you deserve it. Maybe you feel you invoke these behaviors in this person and its your fault. Hmmm is this something you have always had to deal with? Did your parents take their anger out on you as well? So you decide enough is enough and you just disappear so that your partner has no way of finding you. You can't take it anymore and you feel there is no other way out but to run away. A month later you meet the partner of your dreams. A year later you are living together and a month after that the fights start again but this time it is worse and your new partner takes it a step further and physically hurts you. This is what I mean by watering your grass before looking for new fields. If you had dealt with the issue at hand the first time you may be in a better place. I do not mean stick around and necessarily make it work with the other partner but you solved nothing by just running away. What ever the core issue was that disrupted the last relationship it is the same core issue you that you carry away with you. Maybe if you had taken the time to delve into your pain and seen that the issue really lies with your own self worth you would have been able to heal and not repeat the patterns.
This is just a common example of most issue we go through in life and those issues usually have to do with something we have not watered and cut away. We all have childhood issues. All of us. They stick with us and most of the time we do not even realize they are still there but they show up loud and clear in our everyday relationships including work and school relationships.
So the point of this blog is take care of your own grass before venturing off into other fields. Those fields may have burs and weeds that do not sit too well with you and all you had to was water and cut your own grass and life would have become your own beautiful meadow.