Friday, October 8, 2010
In love and life we find ourselves in many different types of relationships. We have friendships, family, co-workers, supervisors, neighbors, lovers, partners, etc. The one thing in common is that within each and everyone of these relationships we have likes and dislikes. But the one thing that determines this common aspect is "expectations". What would happen to our relationships if we eliminated expectations all together? If we had no expectations of the people we have relationships with we would never have pain or disappointment.
In our minds we have created an unconscious set of expectations that we place on all humans be it if we are in a relationship with them or not. If we eliminated those expectations and had compassion for people as they are we would never experience disappointment in them. If we have no expectations of others we have take the first step to understanding unconditional love. The key to bringing happiness, joy, and love into our lives and experiencing it at every moment of every day is as easy as eliminating the expectations you hold on other people.
In our daily lives we become easily frustrated and angry at the way people drive when we are out on the roads. Why do we do feel this way? We already know that not everyone is a good driver, we already know some drivers are very inconsiderate, and we already know that there will be at the very minimum at least one accident a day on our city streets. So why do we have the expectation that when we go out and drive that every person needs to be a perfect driver? Yes it is important to be safe because lives are at risk everyday but we already know it as a fact that everyone isn't a good driver, and not all drivers are considerate, and that there are accidents everyday. If we want to make our driving experience less stressful and remain happier people we need to stop expecting that every person on the road be a perfect driver because it just isn't reality.
Children are not perfect and do things to upset us all the time. When they get bad grades we still kiss them and tuck them in at night and make them feel safe. We understand that they are children and they are not perfect and we love them anyway. Our pets and animals do not speak the same language as use and often anger us and frustrate us because they did not listen to our rules or they ruined something that belonged to us. When we see them at the end of the day we still love them and feed them and understand that they are animals and meant no real harm.
So why can't we have this understanding with every other relationship in the world? Why can't we understand that the clerk at the grocery store is a human too and that she may be having a bad day because her boss was rude to her, and her boss may have had someone cut them off on the road right before they got to work? Why can't we understand that our husband, girlfriend, mother, or neighbor are human and make mistakes too? Why do we place such great expectations on people to be something they are not? People are not perfect and always kind. People get crabby when they are mistreated or disrespected. People have bad days they have the right to be upset. So why do we have such high expectations?
When we are single and out looking for a mate do you find yourself turning someone away because they do not fit one of your expectations. Maybe you think men should always open the door for you, or maybe you think if a woman is dressed a certain way she isn't good enough to be your partner? It is all because of expectations and all expectations do are make you unhappy!
Imagine life for one hour out of our day where you had no expectations of anyone! If you are able to envision this you should be able to feel great happiness all around you. If you can eliminate expectations you can begin to understand how to have compassion for other humans in life and you are able to experience the true miracle of unconditional love. Unconditional love does not exist in a life of expectations so take some time to recognize when expectations begin to control you and release them for a much more pleasant experience in life true unconditional love.