Friday, May 28, 2010

Is It Human Nature To Be Self Absorbed?

This morning I was driving and reflecting on some of the changes I have going on in my life. I was thinking how grand it was to see life has lead me in the direction toward my deepest passion, writing, and I was pondering how the people closest in my life are the one's least supportive of my current ideas and goals. I was thinking that I know I am loved by them but why is it the one's you think are closest to you are the one's least likely to help push you forward to your dreams. This was the basis of my contemplation but what it lead to was are all the people I attract closest to me consumed with themselves, and if they reflect me and I the same way, or is it just human nature or what we have evolved to be as human beings in this day and age?

While I was thinking this my girlfriend sat in the seat next to me and I thought why is it I am in my head right now and not comfortable enough to talk to her about this? Why am I having this whole conversation in my head and not with her? Of course she spoke up as if she was reading my thoughts. She said, "Hello are you there?" and I took it as a sign that I need to get out of my head converse and socialize. I said, "Yes I was just contemplating on the people I have attracted most in my life and if they are self absorb or if it is our human nature to be so into the self."

We had a great conversation and I have come to the conclusion that over time we have been taken away from reality and put into our heads where its safe. In the real world we have to deal with pain and rejection. Sometimes we get sucked so deep into our own mental wars and dramas we forget that there is a real world going on outside us. With the internet and popular reality TV shows we follow the lives of others and put their dramas into our heads. Its easier to live in that world then in the real world. So as a result when we are relating to each other on a social level we are forgetting there is someone in the room with us. Our heads are stuck in our phones, or in our laptops, or on the tv and there is a person sitting right there next to us with whom we could be living our life out with.

How many of you can honestly say that when someone is having a conversation with you and talking to you about a problem or something going on in their life you do not have your own mental conversation going on in your head along with it. You aren't saying the things going on in your head because they are either judging the other person or judging and thinking about only yourself. How do we get out of this viscious cycle of self absorbtion?Our spiritual leaders tell us all the answers are found withing. If that is true then why is it bad to be self absorbed?

Going within is going to be the only way we will learn to come out and see life like it is. When you shut off the dramas going on in your head by going within and making a conscious effort to do so you will be able to finally hear and see life going on around you. Without the conscious effort of what you have playing in your head you will never be able to really see what is going on around you. That is where the statement life is an illusion comes from. You do not see life for what it really is you see it colored through your thoughts and dramas.

If we can learn to not be scared of silence we can learn to turn off our minds. If we can shut off the tv, the radio, the internet, and close the book and just sit in silence and listen to nothing then we have taken one step closer to getting intouch with reality. I can hear you now. When I sit alone in silence I hear all these thoughts in my head and I can't shut them off. Yep that happens to everyone. Those are the exact voices you need to become aware of in order to turn them off. You need to first listen to them. What are they saying? If you heard them from someone elses mouth would they sound different then in your own head? How are you treating yourself with these voices and dramas? More than likely all the pain you feel on a daily basis and all the fears you have in life are created from that voice you can not shut off in your head.

Now you are saying I know you are so right but what do I do? Well let me start with saying something all my friends hear me say, "Knowing is half the battle." By just making yourself aware that you have those tapes going on in your head, by just becoming aware that there is a life you are avoiding outside your mind, and by just being aware of the harshness these dramas in your mind have created you have fought half the battle and that is one huge step! Many people all around just go through life fully asleep taking the pains and woes as they are tossed to them and feel pity for themselves and have no strength within to move past them. They die this way, how sad is that?

I can not answer the next step for you. I learned about those tapes in my head and the dramas and I realized I was causing myself much unneeded pain and drama so I changed those thoughts. I didn't like what my life was becoming so I created one I felt whole, safe, secure, and fully alive and authentic in. If you want to free yourself from pain, fear, and devastation then recognize who is creating it and make life the way you want.

So to answer the question is it human nature to be self absorb? If it is what needs to be to show us who we really are then so be it. We have evolved to this place and now as we face the darkest of days we have a choice do we stay there or do we face our mental demons and grow towards the true self we really are? If we have a choice in life then I chose happy!