Is It Human Nature To Be Self Absorbed?

This morning I was driving and reflecting on some of the changes I have going on in my life. I was thinking how grand it was to see life has lead me in the direction toward my deepest passion, writing, and I was pondering how the people closest in my life are the one's least supportive of my current ideas and goals. I was thinking that I know I am loved by them but why is it the one's you think are closest to you are the one's least likely to help push you forward to your dreams. This was the basis of my contemplation but what it lead to was are all the people I attract closest to me consumed with themselves, and if they reflect me and I the same way, or is it just human nature or what we have evolved to be as human beings in this day and age?

While I was thinking this my girlfriend sat in the seat next to me and I thought why is it I am in my head right now and not comfortable enough to talk to her about this? Why am I having this whole conversation in my head and not with her? Of course she spoke up as if she was reading my thoughts. She said, "Hello are you there?" and I took it as a sign that I need to get out of my head converse and socialize. I said, "Yes I was just contemplating on the people I have attracted most in my life and if they are self absorb or if it is our human nature to be so into the self."

We had a great conversation and I have come to the conclusion that over time we have been taken away from reality and put into our heads where its safe. In the real world we have to deal with pain and rejection. Sometimes we get sucked so deep into our own mental wars and dramas we forget that there is a real world going on outside us. With the internet and popular reality TV shows we follow the lives of others and put their dramas into our heads. Its easier to live in that world then in the real world. So as a result when we are relating to each other on a social level we are forgetting there is someone in the room with us. Our heads are stuck in our phones, or in our laptops, or on the tv and there is a person sitting right there next to us with whom we could be living our life out with.

How many of you can honestly say that when someone is having a conversation with you and talking to you about a problem or something going on in their life you do not have your own mental conversation going on in your head along with it. You aren't saying the things going on in your head because they are either judging the other person or judging and thinking about only yourself. How do we get out of this viscious cycle of self absorbtion?Our spiritual leaders tell us all the answers are found withing. If that is true then why is it bad to be self absorbed?

Going within is going to be the only way we will learn to come out and see life like it is. When you shut off the dramas going on in your head by going within and making a conscious effort to do so you will be able to finally hear and see life going on around you. Without the conscious effort of what you have playing in your head you will never be able to really see what is going on around you. That is where the statement life is an illusion comes from. You do not see life for what it really is you see it colored through your thoughts and dramas.

If we can learn to not be scared of silence we can learn to turn off our minds. If we can shut off the tv, the radio, the internet, and close the book and just sit in silence and listen to nothing then we have taken one step closer to getting intouch with reality. I can hear you now. When I sit alone in silence I hear all these thoughts in my head and I can't shut them off. Yep that happens to everyone. Those are the exact voices you need to become aware of in order to turn them off. You need to first listen to them. What are they saying? If you heard them from someone elses mouth would they sound different then in your own head? How are you treating yourself with these voices and dramas? More than likely all the pain you feel on a daily basis and all the fears you have in life are created from that voice you can not shut off in your head.

Now you are saying I know you are so right but what do I do? Well let me start with saying something all my friends hear me say, "Knowing is half the battle." By just making yourself aware that you have those tapes going on in your head, by just becoming aware that there is a life you are avoiding outside your mind, and by just being aware of the harshness these dramas in your mind have created you have fought half the battle and that is one huge step! Many people all around just go through life fully asleep taking the pains and woes as they are tossed to them and feel pity for themselves and have no strength within to move past them. They die this way, how sad is that?

I can not answer the next step for you. I learned about those tapes in my head and the dramas and I realized I was causing myself much unneeded pain and drama so I changed those thoughts. I didn't like what my life was becoming so I created one I felt whole, safe, secure, and fully alive and authentic in. If you want to free yourself from pain, fear, and devastation then recognize who is creating it and make life the way you want.

So to answer the question is it human nature to be self absorb? If it is what needs to be to show us who we really are then so be it. We have evolved to this place and now as we face the darkest of days we have a choice do we stay there or do we face our mental demons and grow towards the true self we really are? If we have a choice in life then I chose happy!

Your Heart is Your True Self

In each moment a thought passes the heart, and in that moment the heart either listens or choses its own direction. Sometimes people believe the heart can lead you astray inturn creating painful experiences that could have been avoided if the heart had just listened to that passing thought. But without those painful experiences you'd never be able to tell what true love is. Your head can not know love. Your mind can not give you what you are eternally searching for. The mind is attached to the material world an the mind is blinded by things, object, looks and glamour. The heart knows not of these things therefore you have a conflict of heart over head. Which do you listen to? Which will make you most happy? Sometimes it feels like neither being they can both take you down just as painful paths. If you take the time to reflect on your life experiences, which are the most memorable, which did you learn the most from, which has shown you the way to you, and which has taken you one step closer to knowing what love really is?
When I look back moment to moment, day after day, all through time all I know is what I feel. I went with the heart and its taken me down roads I never planned to take. My mind too, has goals and ambitions that do not match my heart, and pain is around me often. The heart trips over the mind, but I remember its the heart that will show me the way, and I will follow it until I have learned what it has to teach me. The heart can be a lonely path but will lead one to the most important treasure of all...SELF...LOVE...and when I finally learn it, I promise to return to help remind others. Always follow your hearts my friend...<3

The Giving Project....I NEED YOUR QUOTES!!!

For those of you who know about the book project, "A Wise Soul Once Said..." Here is a second coming. For those of you who do not know the book has been an ongoing project for just under two years now. With constant emails coming in I know this book will be able to change the lives of many people and here is how.

The Giving Project is the new title of what is to become. "A Wise Soul Once Said..." is merely the catalyst. The idea behind TGP is that it gives everyday people a voice, it give inspiration and motivation to others in their times of need, and it gives back to the community.

TGP is a book compiled of quotes from everyday people like you and me. Everyday people are the mailman, grandma or grandpa, the neighbor, the lady at the check out stand at the grocery store, the homeless man in the park. TGP is here to show the world that you do not need to be a guru or a high profile person to make a difference in the world. Words go far, very, very far! TGP wants everyone to be heard and wants everyone who reads it to have the opportunity to turn to their peers, community, family, and friends and just listen. Because the wisest words may come from the least expected place.

The last part of TGP is to give back to the community both locally as well as internationally! This book is not about profit! It is about giving. A large precentage of all proceeds for every book sold is going to be given back to the world. So if you feel you do not usually have a source of giving to those in need then here is your chance because you do not need to spend a dime! I just want your wisdom!!!

Everyone has a personal philosphy, sarcastic WISEcrack, religious or spiritual advice, or words to sooth and nurture others. Tell me what goes through your head in the times of need, motivation, or tragedy! Do not be shy or hold back at all!!!!! Just give it to us!!!!

Lastly if and when you fill out the information below if you would be so kind as to pass this on to any and everyone you know! Everyone has a voice and everyone deserves to be heard!

Much love and peace to you all!

Lori Marie

whtsursgn@aol.com

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Personal Quote:

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Name: (real or not it doesn't matter)

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Location and age: (once again put what you like)

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Disclosure:

All rights of The Giving Project belong to Lori Marie Silva. Please respect the concept behind the project and pass on with positive intent and love.

Nothing is what it seems but is its all exactly how its supposed to be.

Nothing is what is seems but is its all exactly how its supposed to be. How is this possible? Ego. With our consciousness we view life from the ego perspective therefore we do not see life or who we are in its real essence. We see through our eyes (I's) not our heart. But we are all exactly were we are supposed to be? Due to the fact that we are living a human experience from the ego perspective the end goal is to learn through our humanness who and what we really are. Evolution has never stopped. Our intellect has excelled immensely over the last 2,000 years! But evolution hasn't stopped. Our egos have grown and are in the process of gradually changing our consciousness from perceiving and creating life with eyes (I's) to the perceiving and creating life from the soul heart level. If you must go through the pain you are going through, the anger, the jealousy so you can continue evolution! Therefore life is unfolding exactly as it is supposed to be. We live in a grand divine order! Everything happens for a reason. All you have to do is wake up!
So the next time you are in pain feel it from a different perspective. Know your pain is growing you! Learn from it! Feel it to its fullest move past it and love life! Life is changing as we speak it's empowering to know it doesn't end in pain. We are in the process of evolution and we are recognizing our divinity in us as one!
Love life!

What does it mean to be your Authentic Self?

Everyone has a persona, an image they show to the outside world. But the question is, is that persona really you? Not too many people can say they are their authentic self. Why is that?
Because everyone is worried what everyone else thinks of them. Why does everyone worry what everyone else thinks of them? Fear of rejection. Why are people scared of being rejected? It goes back the natural instinct of survival. If you are not excepted within your clan you will be rejected and all alone.
Let's explore being alone. How bad could it really be? If you are alone you are isolated from others who have judged you and love you conditionally. Do you really want to be loved for anything other than who you really are? I think that if I had to chose I wouldn't necessarily mind being alone.
Now let's look at the reasons why people are rejected by others. Either their is a control issue and someone posing to be superior to you is asking you to be or do something that is not in perfect alignment with who you are, or you were not behaving as your true self. If you were rejected because you weren't being your true self all you can do is learn from the situation. Admit to yourself where you went wrong and correct it and move on with your new life. But if you were rejected for being your authentic self then It was a blessing in disguise! You are now free! You now owe no one an explanation for being you. In your new life you will only attract those who are in perfect alignment with your real self. You will not tolerate nor attract conditional and controlling people. Like attracts like.
So now which do you chose? Follow your heart and be your authentic real self at all costs? Or be who everyone around you wants you to be at the price of living a life that is not your own?
I chose freedom. I chose unconditional love. I chose being my authentic self at all costs!

Here is a great excert from Osho. Written very eloquently it allows you to see what authenticity means.
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Only one thing has to be remembered: be authentic, be sincere to yourself. Declare your truth, whatsoever the cost. Even if life is risked, risk it, because truth is far more valuable than anything, because truth is true life.


I am reminded of Bodhidharma, who introduced Zen into China... The emperor had come to receive him on the border--and if it had been somebody else in Bodhidharma's place, the emperor would have cut his head immediately, because he was behaving in such an unmannerly way. The emperor had created hundreds of temples, made thousands of Buddha statues. One thousand scholars were continuously translating Buddha's words from Pali into Chinese, and ten thousand Buddhist monks were fed by the imperial treasury. He had done much to make China Buddhist. Obviously, he thought that he would be appreciated, so he said, "I have done these things. What do you think--what will be the virtue attained out of all this?"

Bodhidharma said, "Virtue? You idiot!"--in front of the whole court, because the court had come with the emperor. There was silence. He said, "You will go directly to hell!"
The emperor could not understand. He said, "I don't see why you are so angry."

Bodhidharma replied, "You are destroying a living word, and you are feeding these scholars who have nothing to contribute to the consciousness of the people. Still you have the nerve to ask if you are doing great virtue? You will suffer in hellfire!" The emperor thought, "How to get out of this man's trap? I have entered in a lion's den and now it is very difficult to get out..." The emperor went back, and Bodhidharma remained in the hills just outside China's boundary. Sitting in a temple, facing the wall for nine years, he declared, "To talk to people who don't understand is just like talking to a wall. But talking to a wall at least one has a consolation that it is a wall. I will turn my face only when I see that somebody has come who is worthy of listening to the living word."

Nine years is a long time--but finally one morning the man came. He said, "Listen, I think I am the person you are waiting for." As a proof he cut off one of his hands with his sword, threw the hand into the lap of Bodhidharma and said, "Turn towards me; otherwise I will cut off my head and you will be responsible for it!"

Bodhidharma turned immediately. He said, "This is enough. This is enough proof that you are as crazy as I want! Sit down. There is no need to cut off your head -- we have to use it; you are going to be my successor."

A man who cuts his hand just to give proof of his sincere search... and there was no doubt in Bodhidharma's mind that if he did not turn he would have cut his head. Unnecessarily, he would be burdened with the responsibility of killing a man, and such a beautiful man, so courageous. And certainly the man was Bodhidharma's successor.

But what happened between these two, nobody knows. Not a single word--Bodhidharma just turned towards him, told him to sit down, looked into his eyes... snow was falling and there was an immense silence all around. Not a single question was asked, and not a single answer was given. But something must have transpired, otherwise Bodhidharma would not have chosen him as his disciple.
~Osho

How to tell what the hell is going on around you.

It's SIMPLE!

It truly is. You hear people say, "life is what you make it" and "everything is about your perspective you don't like it change it" or "people are reflections of one another". When you were in school don't you remember your teachers trying to teach you about how Shakespeare's stories were metaphorical? You could not really understand his writing unless you changed your perspective and the only way to learn from the tale was to look at it metaphorically. Many poets write the same way. I personally feel the bible should be looked upon from this perspective.

Basically if you really want to know what is going on around you all the above applies but its easier then that. Everything and I mean EVERYTHING is a mere reflection of what is going on within you. The saying life is an illusion is meant to show you that what is going on in your mind is being played out right in front of you!

Look at your opinions. Look at your judgments and prejudice. Don't tell me you don't have any because everyone does. Take a look at the people in your life. All of them. The ones you love, the ones you hate, the ones who irritate you, the ones who mean nothing to you, the ones you look up too. Look at the car you drive and the home you live in. The inside of your home the outside of your home. Each room within your home. Look at the job you have and the area you live and work in.

If you really want to know what the hell is going on around you! Look inside you! You need to learn how to recognize yourself within everything. Yes it is true you are separate from nothing. You created it. Its your life playing out in front of you. Every little thing is a reflection of what is going on inside you. Reality is just this illusion reflecting in front of you so you can become conscious of who you really are.

If you do not like something in your life then change the thing it is reflecting inside you. It's that simple! All you have to do is have the guts to admit to yourself your flaws, your fears, and your idiosyncrasies. All you have to do is be brave enough to look in the mirror at a face you feel is ugly and change it. That is why they say there is nothing to fear but fear it self! Because what is the worst that is going to happen? Your gonna see something you don't like. So what you look at it everyday reflecting back to you in other people, situations, and things.

You have no one to blame in the world for what is going on around you. No one. It is only a projection. It is an illusion. And guess what you can make that beautiful illusion look however you want.

So I answered your question...I told you what was going on around you. Now you need to decide if your going to do anything about it. It's all in your hands now!