Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Complaining seems to be an epidemic in our world today. More than likely it is something that has always exsited but in our day and age everyone is trying hard to get positive results and when they do not, one resorts to complaining. Everyone complains and no one person can say they do not it just is a part of how we have adapted to dealing with life and venting. But if you have noticed complaining really gets you no where.
It is obvious complaining gets your no real satisfaction that is unless you are one who fights for your rights and everyone elses but this is different than complaining. Complaining isn't standing up for yourself that is a whole different issue. When you stand up for yourself you are asking another person to respect you and to correct a wrong they have aimed your direction. That is alleviating a negative. Complaining though is merely stating a dislike you have for something you are experiencing. What good comes out of stating the negative? When you state something that is bothering you you are not just venting you are releasing anger and adding more fuel to the fire. If something is already burning you up doesn't make sense to put the fire out instead of making the fire bigger? The only way to put a fire out is with something positive. Instead of complaining we need to be the change we wish to see in the world.
When we send out positive energy into the world by being what it is we wish to see around us we attract those situations to us. If we constantly yell at the cars and drivers around us for driving crazy more than likely we are going to become so agitated we drive the same way. Instead we can put out the fire by being the change and chosing to be courteous and looking at the situation at hand differently, with compassion. Everyone has to be somewhere and everyone has had a different day then the next person but how you respond to those people makes a world of difference. If we want positive surroundings we must send the same out into the world. Like attracts like.
Being the change is much easier said than done but it is definitely worth the try. If you are wanting a more peaceful life then maybe the next time you hear a complaint come out of your mouth you can take a few seconds to see if you are fueling a fire or if you are putting one out. If you see that you are just fueling the fire it really does not take much effort to try and see the situation from a different perspective and inturn be the change you wish to see in the world.
If you on the other hand are the one who caused someone to complain instead of returning the fire with fuel, because you did not like their response to you, apologize and smile. Often the power of a genuine smile will put out the largest of flames.
All in all if we want change in our world around us all we can really do is be that change. We can not force others to change but we can be the walking example.
RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS
Just one good way to be the change we wish to see in the world!
Saturday, September 18, 2010
What is the meaning of life? It's one of those life questions everyone strives to answer. It's one of those questions people write chapters and chapters, novels upon novels, and articles and articles about. It really is not that complicated of a question. The meaning of life is not some hidden secret but it may pose to be. Life seems to be such a mystery because we have filled it with so much unneeded nonsense. We pile on drama after drama and worry about things that really have no need to be worried about. Of course life is a mystery when we are so bombarded with things we think are important but really have no real purpose in our life.
We turn on the TV and see talk shows about this and that, we walk through the grocery store and see magazines about this star and that celeberty, and we get caught up in the office gossip or the family spat that had nothing to do with us. Sometimes we get carried away with obsessions. We become addicted to emotions, drugs, alcohol, work, exercise, spiritual practices and beliefs, anything to take us away and hide what life is really about. Life is not a hidden mystery or secret encoded in a ancient far away tablet or a buried scroll that the wise ones once knew. Life is not a mystery you have just hidden it from yourself.
What is the meaning of life?
The meaning of life has no real words but I will do my best to help you remember because that is what the meaning of life is to remember who and what you we are. We live life as who we have evolved into through circumstances both good and bad. We are both a product of our environment and our minds. We have to dig deep inside to even know who we are. Many of us feel compelled to go out into the world to find ourselves when we were right there the whole time. We only went out into the world to find ourselves to escape everyone and everything else so we can focus and find our true selves and be who we are. Sometimes we find what feel best but usually we just find something that feels better. Its just another form of escape. Other times we find our true self and we live authentically and do not allow outside forces to compromise who we are. We remember that there is nothing to fear but fear itself and we live life from our hearts. This is what the meaning of life is. To be who are and live from our hearts. All in all we are human. We make mistakes, we fall prey to fear, and we fall in love with things and people who are not good for us. But when we sit back and ask why and we wonder why we are hear and what the real meaning of life is all we have to do is realize the real meaning of life is to be our true authentic self. Live from our hearts with good intentions if we fall and make mistakes its ok were human but as long as we always remember who we are our life will go along with much more meaning.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
We have all had someone hurt our feelings before. It happens everyday on a daily basis to just about everyone. When someone says something that offends us or we see as disrespectful we take it personally. Why is that? Why when we are in line at the grocery store and the cashier is distant and rude and possibly even snaps at us do we take it personally and allow it to hurt us? Why if our mother, brother, child, or partner says something with a bad attitude, calls us a name, or intentionally does something that they know will upset us do we take it personal?
Our human hearts are bruised easily but we can avoid this if we can remember one thing. If we did not intentionally do something to someone to provoke a negative response and they lash out at us in a negative way then it is their problem not ours! If the cashier had a bad morning before work or was just reprimanded by her boss more than likely she took it personal and is having a hard time interacting with customers therefore when she is negative to you it is her problem. We need to have compassion and realize something in that persons life isn't right for them to be behaving this way towards you. If you purposefully did something to provoke the cashier and they respond this way then it is expected and therefore it really is your problem and maybe you need to reassess how you deal with them in the future. Or just plainly admit it to yourself and apologize to them. You may even get a smile for being the bigger person
There are many different scenarios for this and in everyone the outcome is the same. If you did not intentionally provoke a negative response you have no need to take how you were treated personally and be hurt. If you go to a party and you are feeling so good because you have a new dress and you had your hair done and the hostess sneers at you how does this make you feel? Most people will take it personal and feel rejection and allow it to ruin their evening or even go as far as being a bad mood and taking the emotion out on someone else. But what if when the hostess sneered at you, you laughed inside. Oh my goodness she is being so silly. I bet she is jealous and loves my dress or maybe she thinks all the attention will be on me and not her because I look so nice to night. I think I will compliment her on her dress. Even if she doesn't respond positively you made it a point to be the bigger person and you realized that the other person had a problem and there was nothing wrong with you or the way you looked.
Here is another one. It's time for dinner and your child has to come in from outside to wash up. You call them more than once and finally you have to go out and get them. He or she is so upset that you tore them away from having a good time you hear a response like, mommy why do you always ruin my fun I hate you, or daddy you are so mean you never let me have fun with my friends when I want to you I like mommy better. None of these responses should make you feel bad especially the one where your child tells you they like the other parent better. Kids are smart and they begin at an early age what to say to make their parents feel bad. Its your child's problem not yours. You did not bring your child in because you are mean you want to feed them. You are not the bad parent because you went out to bring them in for dinner. Guess what though, a lot of parents take what their kids say personally.
There is not one case you can bring up to me where you should take a negative emotion given to you by someone else personal if you did not do something negative to provoke it.
Once you begin to realize not to take other peoples statements personal you will start to feel very empowered. You will realize you are happier more often. You do not eve have to bring it to the other persons attention when they behave this way all it will do is start a negative fight. If you merely have compassion for the other persons response and realize it is their problem and not yours you have let it go and you take no responsibility for it and you are the happy one!
Remember there is never a need to take something someone says personal if you did nothing intentional to provoke it!
Thursday, September 9, 2010
There are people in this world who like to "read between the lines". They do this because a lot of time there is more going on than is actually being said. The problem is when people read between the lines they tend to read with their mind and the mind has a way of misguiding. Have you ever stopped to think about how our minds and communication really works? We know words because we see them attached to images, sounds, or smells and collect them in our brain in different categories. This type of communication is very limiting because not everyone has the same memories or experiences and can not always properly relate to another person. So there is a need to read between the lines but not with our minds. The object is to learn to feel between the lines. When someone can detach themselves from an emotional response to something and open their heart and their mind they are able to sense things that do not have words. These are were hidden messages can be found. A persons "intent" is a hidden message as well. When someone says, "I love you" but do not really mean it a person can feel their true intent. You have a sense that they do not literally love you but care for you or they feel the need to say it because it is what you are wanting to hear.
Hidden messages are everywhere! They are hidden in the Bible, on the tongues of politicians, in fairy tales, and even in the conversation you hear from the people standing behind you. If you really want to know what is going on in the world you need to turn off your mind and turn on your heart! Your heart is the key to all hidden messages. Nothing can be hidden from someone who lives from their heart. Will your heart open the nearest bank vault and make you an instant millionaire? Probably not. But I bet you your heart can teach you that money was never the answer in the first place its just a catalyst to get you to where you need to be in life.
Opening your heart is the key to the universe and in time you will come to learn how to read hidden messages with ease. If you want to learn to find these hidden messages in the world you need to dig through your inner self all the way to the light you have bright inside you and let it out! You need to be true to who you are! You need to be authentic! You need to be you!!! And you need to allow yourself to shine bright! The brighter you shine the louder the messages are for you. Open your heart! Its the key to all hidden messages and their is a universe ready to be revealed to you!
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
For about 3 years I decided I was not going to watch or read the news. All that I ever saw was negative. The fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan was continuous and never ending. Serial rapists, snipers, and murders were plastered all over the papers and TV. Why do I need to expose myself to all this negative energy it made me so upset? I decided it was needless torment. When my friends and coworkers would ask me if I had heard about something in the news I always responded no I hadn't heard. They were flabbergasted that I was so in denial about what was happening in our world. Everyone would feel the need to tell me about how important it is to know about what is going on in the world around me. I said why would I want to waste time within my day feeling sadness, sorrow, fear, and anger at the outside world around me. Most of the responses would be but there are good things in the news too. I knew this to be true to but I wasn't going to waste my time waiting to the end of a 30 minute news cast to hear about the local children who rallied around to help the elderly in the neighborhood. I chose to just not do it.
As time went on I met my current partner and in the time we have been together the news started to become a daily activity. It would come on in the morning and again in the evening. The paper started being delivered every Saturday morning as well. Soon I started to realize how distraught and angry I was becoming at the politicians in my state and community. I was constantly feeling anger and fear about the world around me. Yes, I thought my friends were right it is important to know what is going on around me. There is so much I have missed and our world is going down hill right before my eyes. I was breaking my own rules and allowing the worlds problems to consume me.
Then one day I went to lunch with an old friend. I started talking to her about the corruptness in our politics and what was going on in the world right before our eyes. She was shocked. I never watch the news she said I had no idea.
I could not believe what I was hearing. I used to be the same way. When I didn't watch the news or read the paper I was a much happier person. I may have not known what was going on around me but I never let little things bother me as much as I do now. I decided that there needs to be a healthy balance. I need to learn to face our world with compassion.
I have a strong philosophy in life. I believe that everything happens for a reason and is in perfect divine order. If I believe this how can I be angered or fearful of what is happening around me? If everything truly is in divine order then I need to be able to look at our sometimes dark and corrupt world with complete detachment and compassion. Compassion does not mean I need to "feel" the pains of the world. Or take the pains of the world on physically within my being. It means to be able to have a deep awareness of the suffering of another without the need to relieve it. It means being able to have a total appreciation for its value in the divine plan. It means being in a complete state of non-judgement.
Now when the news is on I do not pay too much attention to it but when I happen to get a glimpse of someone murdered and they are interviewing their family I send out love to them and pray for their guidance and freedom of pain. I do not feel the need to pass judgement on any of the story or situation and I do not take on their pain and suffering and became angry at the world. I fully understand that the energy I feel is sent out into the world. If I am feeling anger it adds to the anger that is already in the world but if I am feeling light it brings this world closer to feeling love.
If you would like to learn how to watch the news without adding to the weight of our world, watch it with compassion and continue to shine your inner light bright!